Happy New Year!
It's new year's eve and I am getting ready to go away on a girl's trip for my BFF's 50th birthday. Before I do though, the year will spin around to 2011-amazing!
So what's this about dead people? Well-the first one is a boss of mine who died this year of brain cancer after deteriorating in front of our eyes. I've been thinking about him a lot more lately because since I moved over to the other side of the hallway, I pass his picture many more times a day, and somehow I feel right now that he is with me. He was only 50 when he died, and he was so angry to leave his teenage boys and the life he loved. I guess making a big fuss about my friend turning 50 (I am already there) made me think about him even more. The whole experience of watching him die was of course a reminder not to take anything for granted.
The second dead person-my dad. His 80th birthday is Sunday; of course he died at 70; almost 10 years ago now. For some reason I feel his presence more than usual now; maybe because I am having a psychic reading soon, maybe because it would have been a milestone birthday, maybe... I don't know, but he is here in a big way.
I did not know the third dead person very well-in fact only a few people really knew him well, and when he killed himself it was a shock to most of us-in fact I think many people thought he was pranking them and refused to believe it. If you were on myspace in the past several years of course you know I am talking about "Crabby" Will Driscoll. Why am I thinking about him out of the blue? Well he still has a facebook profile, and lately his face appears in my "people you may know". Kinda makes you wonder; especially since I don't believe in coincidences-everything happens for a reason.
So yes-this new year's I see dead people. but I don't feel creepy or maudlin, just contemplative and even more determined to figure out just why I am on this earth.
Happy New Year-thanks for reading and I hope all your dreams and wishes come true this year.
Pictures I put together the day we found out Dave died.
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Showing posts with label My Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Life. Show all posts
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Working without a net Nov 10
As fear goes, I guess it's not so bad, but tomorrow I start my new job in earnest. I'm on the road with my new colleagues; stepping out of that nice safe predictable cocoon and up onto the wire.
While it's true I am now just a peon and don't have the responsibility of holding a job together, managing the work and the people as I did only weeks ago, the work is new, the people are new, so for all my bluster, I must admit to a bit of trepidation.
Maybe that's why my immune system decided to allow a cold virus to run rampant in my nasal cavities, so I have to stock up on Sudafed or risk sniffling and snuffling through the day. UGH
No, this isn't what I want or need to say, but it will have to do, since I have NO FUKING IDEA what is on the tip of my tongue. The approach of this particular Monday morning is the only thing I can think of that could have me in a tizzy. So-while the logistics of a week on the road haven't changed, and the destination is familiar, the work is brand spanking new.
Wish me luck and have a great week yourself.
Thanks for listening as always, and please don't lurk.
Clinging to the side of the wall above the abyss...
While it's true I am now just a peon and don't have the responsibility of holding a job together, managing the work and the people as I did only weeks ago, the work is new, the people are new, so for all my bluster, I must admit to a bit of trepidation.
Maybe that's why my immune system decided to allow a cold virus to run rampant in my nasal cavities, so I have to stock up on Sudafed or risk sniffling and snuffling through the day. UGH
No, this isn't what I want or need to say, but it will have to do, since I have NO FUKING IDEA what is on the tip of my tongue. The approach of this particular Monday morning is the only thing I can think of that could have me in a tizzy. So-while the logistics of a week on the road haven't changed, and the destination is familiar, the work is brand spanking new.
Wish me luck and have a great week yourself.
Thanks for listening as always, and please don't lurk.
Clinging to the side of the wall above the abyss...
Staying up too late watching Intervention, and other confessions Oct 10
Can't get this out of my head this morning-can't figure out how to get it to play automatically.
UPDATE: I must add that although I mention people on the TV show, looking back, everyone that I ever actually knew with any addiction problem had something going on behind the scenes; I may not have known it at the time.
Now play the vid and read below. Thanks
On the road again, this time as a student at a school in Arlington, VA. Control of the remote is all mine! When I am on the road I tend to watch some of my fav shows on TLC and A and E, etc, that I can't watch at home, because of course, the hubby has control of the TV. Oh I get to watch my Phillies, but other than that, it's his chicken, and that's ok.
On the road though, it's a different story. last night I stayed up way too late watching two shows that make me feel both depressed as hell and the sanest, most together person in the world, all at the same time. That would be Intervention and Hoarders-OMG! They both show people in various modes of utter despair and distress, and you know their families are at their wits end if they made a video and sent it in to the show, because of course if the magic works, their loved one will get some help, that is if said loved one is willing to be helped.
Hoarders is just incredible. I mean, I have way too many pairs of shoes, and sometimes the books pile up all over the house, and I have two sets of health and beauty items (one for the road and one for home), etc etc etc, but these people make me look like Mrs Clean and organized. Literally breaking a path through the clutter like through snowpack in the winter, they surround themselves with stuff, from accumulated memories that they can't get rid of, stuff they may need "someday", unfinished projects, and shopping sprees that made them feel better for a little while. So sad-and many times disgusting; under those piles they find rotted food, animal poop, and sometimes even dead animal, not to mention insects galore.
Intervention, on the other hand, shows folks in despair and denial, but these people are addicted to drugs, alcohol, or some combination of the two, and the show gathers their family, some of whom have enabled the behavior in a big way, to try to get the addicted one to go to treatment.
Now I must warn you, I am going to disagree with the psychology on this one and reveal my own observations and personal experiences, so if you are a strict adherent to the addiction is a disease school, you may not like what I have to say. And I have no training in psychology, so if you say I am totally unqualified to even have an opinion, well I guess you are right, but dammit I gonna say this anyway.
Every one of the people on Intervention has some kind of trauma in their past; abandonment by one or both parents, abuse by a spouse, childhood sexual abuse, etc etc etc. From where I sit it seems that the addiction (whatever it is, even including the hoarders above) helps them hide from/ameliorate temporarily the pain and/or keeps them so wasted almost all the time that they feel nothing, no pain, no joy, nothing, like chemotherapy, their self-medication can not be targeted to solve the problem and so scars everything it touches.
Now there may be people out there who abuse drugs and alcohol because they are just catching a buzz, but to me those folks are not hiding from their lives. IDK, maybe there is no fine line, but that's another blog for another day. When the impact of the substances can be seen by the outside world, there is def a problem.
So-when these people go to treatment, of course they detox their bodies from the poisons, but they also must detox their minds, and to me this is what keeps them clean. The addiction is just a symptom of something wrong deep down; this something must be resolved and the pain managed and dealt with, before the person can really stay clean, otherwise, only the symptom is treated, not the cause.
One of the women on the show last night was sexually abused as a child by a family member, and she didn't tell anyone for several years. When she did speak up, her mother didn't believe her, and from then on it was all downhill. Promiscuity, drugs, you name it, this girl did it. To get attention, to block out the pain, because the abuse taught her to see her only value as sexual.
This struck a chord with me, because you see I know about this first hand. I was sexually abused when I was 13, not by anyone in my family thank goodness, but some guy from the neighborhood. I never told my parents or anyone else until just a couple years ago when I revealed it on my other page here. What a relief to finally understand a bit about my behavior! All that time I thought that I had control over my actions and that I had started being sexually active earlier than most people because I chose to!
However, when I thought back to my experiences at the time, this man groomed me in the textbook manner, and it was almost a classic case! What I did afterwords was also classic-acting out sexually, looking for that one guy who would make me feel complete and whole, all the while ignoring on all other parts of my life. All that mattered, the only part of me that mattered, was the sexual. Luckily I was usually serially monogamous, so it wasn't too bad, but I literally ignored the rest of my life, sleepwalking and partying my way through high school.
Yes I did drugs, but it never got out of control. My drug of choice was always pot-it made everything seem rosy and everything funny. I could gloss over a lot of ugliness when I was stoned.
I find it hard to believe that it took me so long to understand this experience and my reaction to it; I was in my 40s before I realized that the abuse had led me down a certain path in my life. I was lucky because I always functioned in the world, and as I got older(in my 30s), I stepped up my game and started using my brain and skills to get ahead in the world a bit. But it wasn't until another decade had passed that I understood about my behavior.
So-do I think that my "addiction" to sex, or need for sexual validation, or pot, was a disease? No, I don't. I used all of these things to try to compensate for what had happened to me, to try to deal with the pain and maladjustment; the fact that I felt different from other girls (well yes I was different, but never knew why). This comes home to me every time I watch Intervention, and although of course I never got to the level of the people on the show (maybe that's why it took me so long to discover the causes for my behavior), I suffered a trauma, and tried to cope the best I could.
Now I'm not going to say that the abuse is to blame for all the mistakes I made in my life, but it did set me down a path...
BTW, luckily I met my husband a month before I turned 18, and once we started seeing each other, I never had sex with anyone else again, so that could be another reason it took so long to figure things out. So that part of the story has a happy ending; no it all has a happy ending, although it's not over yet. The queen of reinvention still has the stage!
So-I am exhausted and the TV is OFF; I need to keep it that way and go to bed. Well, maybe after I look at some more of the lighthouse pictures I took over the weekend. the first set of pics is up on the website HERE-please have a look if you are so inclined.
Thanks for listening, and please, if you read this, even if you don't want to comment, please leave me a kudo. I had 51 views today, and that was before this blog, and I can't remember my mixmap password, so I don't know WTH is going on.
Thanks again.
PS The book below also helped crystallize my thinking on the topic of promiscuity; the thoughts and feelings expressed by the author mirror many of my own, and many of the pages of my copy are turned down at the corners.
UPDATE: I must add that although I mention people on the TV show, looking back, everyone that I ever actually knew with any addiction problem had something going on behind the scenes; I may not have known it at the time.
Now play the vid and read below. Thanks
On the road again, this time as a student at a school in Arlington, VA. Control of the remote is all mine! When I am on the road I tend to watch some of my fav shows on TLC and A and E, etc, that I can't watch at home, because of course, the hubby has control of the TV. Oh I get to watch my Phillies, but other than that, it's his chicken, and that's ok.
On the road though, it's a different story. last night I stayed up way too late watching two shows that make me feel both depressed as hell and the sanest, most together person in the world, all at the same time. That would be Intervention and Hoarders-OMG! They both show people in various modes of utter despair and distress, and you know their families are at their wits end if they made a video and sent it in to the show, because of course if the magic works, their loved one will get some help, that is if said loved one is willing to be helped.
Hoarders is just incredible. I mean, I have way too many pairs of shoes, and sometimes the books pile up all over the house, and I have two sets of health and beauty items (one for the road and one for home), etc etc etc, but these people make me look like Mrs Clean and organized. Literally breaking a path through the clutter like through snowpack in the winter, they surround themselves with stuff, from accumulated memories that they can't get rid of, stuff they may need "someday", unfinished projects, and shopping sprees that made them feel better for a little while. So sad-and many times disgusting; under those piles they find rotted food, animal poop, and sometimes even dead animal, not to mention insects galore.
Intervention, on the other hand, shows folks in despair and denial, but these people are addicted to drugs, alcohol, or some combination of the two, and the show gathers their family, some of whom have enabled the behavior in a big way, to try to get the addicted one to go to treatment.
Now I must warn you, I am going to disagree with the psychology on this one and reveal my own observations and personal experiences, so if you are a strict adherent to the addiction is a disease school, you may not like what I have to say. And I have no training in psychology, so if you say I am totally unqualified to even have an opinion, well I guess you are right, but dammit I gonna say this anyway.
Every one of the people on Intervention has some kind of trauma in their past; abandonment by one or both parents, abuse by a spouse, childhood sexual abuse, etc etc etc. From where I sit it seems that the addiction (whatever it is, even including the hoarders above) helps them hide from/ameliorate temporarily the pain and/or keeps them so wasted almost all the time that they feel nothing, no pain, no joy, nothing, like chemotherapy, their self-medication can not be targeted to solve the problem and so scars everything it touches.
Now there may be people out there who abuse drugs and alcohol because they are just catching a buzz, but to me those folks are not hiding from their lives. IDK, maybe there is no fine line, but that's another blog for another day. When the impact of the substances can be seen by the outside world, there is def a problem.
So-when these people go to treatment, of course they detox their bodies from the poisons, but they also must detox their minds, and to me this is what keeps them clean. The addiction is just a symptom of something wrong deep down; this something must be resolved and the pain managed and dealt with, before the person can really stay clean, otherwise, only the symptom is treated, not the cause.
One of the women on the show last night was sexually abused as a child by a family member, and she didn't tell anyone for several years. When she did speak up, her mother didn't believe her, and from then on it was all downhill. Promiscuity, drugs, you name it, this girl did it. To get attention, to block out the pain, because the abuse taught her to see her only value as sexual.
This struck a chord with me, because you see I know about this first hand. I was sexually abused when I was 13, not by anyone in my family thank goodness, but some guy from the neighborhood. I never told my parents or anyone else until just a couple years ago when I revealed it on my other page here. What a relief to finally understand a bit about my behavior! All that time I thought that I had control over my actions and that I had started being sexually active earlier than most people because I chose to!
However, when I thought back to my experiences at the time, this man groomed me in the textbook manner, and it was almost a classic case! What I did afterwords was also classic-acting out sexually, looking for that one guy who would make me feel complete and whole, all the while ignoring on all other parts of my life. All that mattered, the only part of me that mattered, was the sexual. Luckily I was usually serially monogamous, so it wasn't too bad, but I literally ignored the rest of my life, sleepwalking and partying my way through high school.
Yes I did drugs, but it never got out of control. My drug of choice was always pot-it made everything seem rosy and everything funny. I could gloss over a lot of ugliness when I was stoned.
I find it hard to believe that it took me so long to understand this experience and my reaction to it; I was in my 40s before I realized that the abuse had led me down a certain path in my life. I was lucky because I always functioned in the world, and as I got older(in my 30s), I stepped up my game and started using my brain and skills to get ahead in the world a bit. But it wasn't until another decade had passed that I understood about my behavior.
So-do I think that my "addiction" to sex, or need for sexual validation, or pot, was a disease? No, I don't. I used all of these things to try to compensate for what had happened to me, to try to deal with the pain and maladjustment; the fact that I felt different from other girls (well yes I was different, but never knew why). This comes home to me every time I watch Intervention, and although of course I never got to the level of the people on the show (maybe that's why it took me so long to discover the causes for my behavior), I suffered a trauma, and tried to cope the best I could.
Now I'm not going to say that the abuse is to blame for all the mistakes I made in my life, but it did set me down a path...
BTW, luckily I met my husband a month before I turned 18, and once we started seeing each other, I never had sex with anyone else again, so that could be another reason it took so long to figure things out. So that part of the story has a happy ending; no it all has a happy ending, although it's not over yet. The queen of reinvention still has the stage!
So-I am exhausted and the TV is OFF; I need to keep it that way and go to bed. Well, maybe after I look at some more of the lighthouse pictures I took over the weekend. the first set of pics is up on the website HERE-please have a look if you are so inclined.
Thanks for listening, and please, if you read this, even if you don't want to comment, please leave me a kudo. I had 51 views today, and that was before this blog, and I can't remember my mixmap password, so I don't know WTH is going on.
Thanks again.
PS The book below also helped crystallize my thinking on the topic of promiscuity; the thoughts and feelings expressed by the author mirror many of my own, and many of the pages of my copy are turned down at the corners.
I just want to go off into the desert by myself-Why I need both myspace and facebook Oct 10
So have you heard anything about the BIG surprise announcement yet? Seems both MS and FB are cooking up some new chicanery-and the word on the street is
DRUM ROLL PLEASE
A MERGER!! OMFG!! Say it aint so!
When a bunch of my friends here decamped to FB, either deleting their pages here or coming so infrequently that cobwebs were growing, I reluctantly started using my page there. FB has its uses, don't get me wrong, but it is def the sanitized version of me, although I do post lots of articles that may have some of my friends shaking their heads, especially the ones about the scourge of Islam.
But FB is so vanilla sweet-it's not for the real me; the reason I have an online profile in the first place! My myspace profile is still semi-anonymous; I use a completely different email and my name is nowhere to be found. Now yes I'm sure that if someone really wanted to find out who I am they could, but the point is, if you search for me, my name, or any of my emails (except one), you will not find me here. And that's the way I like it.
I like to have a place where I can reveal some things about my personal life that I would never reveal on FB; not about my work, cause that really is pretty secret, but about my frustrations with certain people in my life, including sometimes co-workers.
A recent blog gets to this very point-it's about my husband (who never comes on line) and my BFF (who still has a page here but never visits) I could never express those feelings on FB, nor do I really think it is the appropriate place; after all, that's my real name out there. (BTW if you do find me and request me there, don't expect me to accept without your real name-new FB rule-I show you mine, you show me yours!)
Case in point-spent some time with the BFF today, and we were talking about a trip we're going on later on this winter-long story which I won't get into-and it's to a place I've always wanted to go. She's talking about how she's been to some of the places we're going, but only with her husband, and prattling on about how it will be different to see with her gfs (there'll be 5 of us altogether for a week).
Well you know me-sometimes too much company is too much-and I am longing to just take a drive out into the desert with the camera ALL BY MYSELF! And you know, I could really give a shit what they all think! Now that's not FB friendly, is it?
So MS, for all its flaws and nonsensical FB-like bullshit, is still very useful to me; and that's without mentioning the friends here who listen to and support me, like you are right now, EVEN IF YOU ARE LURKING!
So-what do YOU think of the rumors about a merger? And even though the subject's been done to death, do you have a fb page, and what do you think about this whole mess?
PS I know there has recently been a big kerfluffle of drama here; something about personal info being posted, and other things I won't mention, but I have no knowledge of it, and to tell you the truth, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!!
So done lurking around the drama-OVER IT!! What about you?
DRUM ROLL PLEASE
A MERGER!! OMFG!! Say it aint so!
When a bunch of my friends here decamped to FB, either deleting their pages here or coming so infrequently that cobwebs were growing, I reluctantly started using my page there. FB has its uses, don't get me wrong, but it is def the sanitized version of me, although I do post lots of articles that may have some of my friends shaking their heads, especially the ones about the scourge of Islam.
But FB is so vanilla sweet-it's not for the real me; the reason I have an online profile in the first place! My myspace profile is still semi-anonymous; I use a completely different email and my name is nowhere to be found. Now yes I'm sure that if someone really wanted to find out who I am they could, but the point is, if you search for me, my name, or any of my emails (except one), you will not find me here. And that's the way I like it.
I like to have a place where I can reveal some things about my personal life that I would never reveal on FB; not about my work, cause that really is pretty secret, but about my frustrations with certain people in my life, including sometimes co-workers.
A recent blog gets to this very point-it's about my husband (who never comes on line) and my BFF (who still has a page here but never visits) I could never express those feelings on FB, nor do I really think it is the appropriate place; after all, that's my real name out there. (BTW if you do find me and request me there, don't expect me to accept without your real name-new FB rule-I show you mine, you show me yours!)
Case in point-spent some time with the BFF today, and we were talking about a trip we're going on later on this winter-long story which I won't get into-and it's to a place I've always wanted to go. She's talking about how she's been to some of the places we're going, but only with her husband, and prattling on about how it will be different to see with her gfs (there'll be 5 of us altogether for a week).
Well you know me-sometimes too much company is too much-and I am longing to just take a drive out into the desert with the camera ALL BY MYSELF! And you know, I could really give a shit what they all think! Now that's not FB friendly, is it?
So MS, for all its flaws and nonsensical FB-like bullshit, is still very useful to me; and that's without mentioning the friends here who listen to and support me, like you are right now, EVEN IF YOU ARE LURKING!
So-what do YOU think of the rumors about a merger? And even though the subject's been done to death, do you have a fb page, and what do you think about this whole mess?
PS I know there has recently been a big kerfluffle of drama here; something about personal info being posted, and other things I won't mention, but I have no knowledge of it, and to tell you the truth, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!!
So done lurking around the drama-OVER IT!! What about you?
Curioser and Curioser Oct 10
Seems that even though I am changing all the time, the ones who know me the best and the longest are the least curious about me and my hopes and dreams.
Could be by my own design
Could be that they need/want to see me a certain way, and the changes make them a little uncomfortable. But why now, why these particular changes?
I am the queen of reinvention, after all.
They should know better.
Could be by my own design
Could be that they need/want to see me a certain way, and the changes make them a little uncomfortable. But why now, why these particular changes?
I am the queen of reinvention, after all.
They should know better.
sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear just pisses you off Oct 10
So-in Chicago for a teaching assignment for a subject I really don't believe in anymore, that is if I ever did-but that is a subject for another blog-oh yeah I already wrote that one.
So-back at the hotel (home til the end of the month-my husband always gives me shit when I say I went "home" to a hotel room, but fuck it-it is home, at least for a while) after drinking maybe a bit too much wine at Bin 36 Wine Bar.
So-talking about my boss who died of brain cancer this (last?) year with someone who I like and respect even though she is a liberal (but never makes a fuss about it) who knew the boss and knows one of the people who was very close and felt his ANGER
more than any of us, and when she asked about his kids and how they are handling it, I had to tell her that I didn't know.
So-this has never been addressed at work. We are a very close knit group; especially those of us who spent/spend a lot of time on the road together, and before my boss D became a manager, he was on the road with us too. So there is a closeness that a lot of people may not understand-not necessarily outside of work, but in the space between work and personal. And yes for us there is such a space. But D's death and his deterioration from brain cancer which exacerbated his sometimes caustic self has NEVER been addressed at all. And the effect of his deterioration, during which he came to work, on all of us, and especially certain people who were closest to him-has NEVER been addressed. We have never had a meeting to discuss how we feel, never had anyone ask if we are ok or needed help-NEVER!!!
So-I understand how someone who was very close to him (our big boss) would not want to talk about his deterioration and death, but I have to say that her avoidance of the effect it had on ALL of us was the chink in the armor of my respect for her that let everything else, all the other things that lessen my respect, in. of course this is only one of the reasons I am leaving, but it is not a small one.
So-sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear just pisses you off so much that you want to stand up and scream.
So-yes I am venting here on myspace, yes I have vented about this before to certain people, one of whom was so close to the anger
that I worry about her internalizing and wonder if she has ptsd, but dammit I can't tell the person who really needs to know that she has hurt us all by not acknowledging the effect his wasting away, mind and body, and his DEATH had on all of us.
So-maybe someday I will be able to tell her, but right now I need to work there, so I can't, but I will not work for her anymore.
So-yes I am burnt out from the work, yes I don't believe in it and can't stomach it politically, but yes I this also part of why I am leaving.
So-RIP D. You were a crusty SOB with a heart of gold, but your ANGER burned us; we were too close.
Calling all angels-an album of pictures; all but one taken in Philly on the day he died.
wish I could get the video to play by itself-please give a listen cause it's what I hear in my head when I think of him...
Thanks for reading and being here
So-back at the hotel (home til the end of the month-my husband always gives me shit when I say I went "home" to a hotel room, but fuck it-it is home, at least for a while) after drinking maybe a bit too much wine at Bin 36 Wine Bar.
So-talking about my boss who died of brain cancer this (last?) year with someone who I like and respect even though she is a liberal (but never makes a fuss about it) who knew the boss and knows one of the people who was very close and felt his ANGER
more than any of us, and when she asked about his kids and how they are handling it, I had to tell her that I didn't know.
So-this has never been addressed at work. We are a very close knit group; especially those of us who spent/spend a lot of time on the road together, and before my boss D became a manager, he was on the road with us too. So there is a closeness that a lot of people may not understand-not necessarily outside of work, but in the space between work and personal. And yes for us there is such a space. But D's death and his deterioration from brain cancer which exacerbated his sometimes caustic self has NEVER been addressed at all. And the effect of his deterioration, during which he came to work, on all of us, and especially certain people who were closest to him-has NEVER been addressed. We have never had a meeting to discuss how we feel, never had anyone ask if we are ok or needed help-NEVER!!!
So-I understand how someone who was very close to him (our big boss) would not want to talk about his deterioration and death, but I have to say that her avoidance of the effect it had on ALL of us was the chink in the armor of my respect for her that let everything else, all the other things that lessen my respect, in. of course this is only one of the reasons I am leaving, but it is not a small one.
So-sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear just pisses you off so much that you want to stand up and scream.
So-yes I am venting here on myspace, yes I have vented about this before to certain people, one of whom was so close to the anger
that I worry about her internalizing and wonder if she has ptsd, but dammit I can't tell the person who really needs to know that she has hurt us all by not acknowledging the effect his wasting away, mind and body, and his DEATH had on all of us.
So-maybe someday I will be able to tell her, but right now I need to work there, so I can't, but I will not work for her anymore.
So-yes I am burnt out from the work, yes I don't believe in it and can't stomach it politically, but yes I this also part of why I am leaving.
So-RIP D. You were a crusty SOB with a heart of gold, but your ANGER burned us; we were too close.
Calling all angels-an album of pictures; all but one taken in Philly on the day he died.
wish I could get the video to play by itself-please give a listen cause it's what I hear in my head when I think of him...
Thanks for reading and being here
A new pair of glasses and signs of a grownup repost Oct 10
Yes I am getting a new pair of glasses (I get to reinvent my eyeglass look every two years)-and they rock! Even more outrageously purple (but lighter in color) than the ones I have now, they make my green eyes pop, and at this point I can use all the help I can get.
But seriously, the new glasses got me thinking about the past two years; how much has happened, and how much hasn't. I have changed so much-I've become much better at the pictures (practice will do that), much more militant in my political views, and much more aware of the world beyond my little sphere.
That said, there is one big ingredient that hasn't changed-MY JOB! I went looking through my blogs to see just what I was writing two years ago. Although I was very preoccupied with my Phillies in the playoffs and the World Series, I was very seriously thinking about changing my job. Well-I finally reached the breaking point and just interviewed for a similar position-same company, same department, same type of job, but different type of work. I won't get into it, but I will say that my political views make it increasingly difficult for me to do my current work-I just don't believe in it anymore, and when I find myself in a meeting defending something I don't agree with, it's well past time to go.
So-I am jumping off a cliff in a way-it's a little scary because I am not going TO something, I am getting AWAY from something, and although it is really my only choice right now and I think it is the right one, I have to admit to more than a little trepidation. The work I will be doing looks pretty boring from where I sit, although to be fair there are different aspects and specialities to it, and I really have no business making judgements at this point. It does involve a lot of financial ratios and numbers I've never found interesting, but at least I can believe in the mission, for now anyway. Who knows what my next move will be? I am the queen of reinvention after all, but unless someone wants to give me a bunch of money to take pictures, I have to make a living, and this is the corner I painted myself into.
After I attended the 8/28 rally I got this brilliant idea that I was going to help soldiers with their finances (they are a target for scammers and some of them are so young!). There is actually a company that works for the Defense Dept traveling around doing seminars at different bases (sounds like me, doesn't it? get up on stage and talk, sit down one-on-one and help people) BUT it requires one be a Certified Financial Advisor, which in turn requires passing a test AND 1000 hours of experience in the field. Well shit-do the math-1000 hours? I think that may have to wait til I can retire! Still a great idea, just not the time for it yet.
So that is what is happening with me lately. I have to tell you that the interview with the two women who run the area I'd be working in went swimmingly. Neither one of them knew me very well, and they seemed impressed with what they found out. It's rare for someone to say they want to stay on the road, but I know that being in the office all the time would kill me-I need to be out on the road working in the field with the bankers; it's what I do best, and what I like the most about the job.
There are things about my job I will miss-especially teaching; I'm going to Chicago at the end of the month to teach and I am really looking forward to it, although truth be told, I don't really believe in what I'm teaching anymore. Instead of teaching, I'll be going back to schools-what a change! I will no longer be a technical expert with 10 years of experience under my belt, but a technical newbie who has a lot to learn. But if you know anything about me you know that this is far from a problem-in fact I embrace the change and challenge.
So in the spirit of looking back two years, I leave you with one of my favorite blogs ever, written in October 2008.
Thanks for persevering though this tome; I haven't written anything this long in many months. And thanks my friends, for being here for me.
Signs you are a grownup
But seriously, the new glasses got me thinking about the past two years; how much has happened, and how much hasn't. I have changed so much-I've become much better at the pictures (practice will do that), much more militant in my political views, and much more aware of the world beyond my little sphere.
That said, there is one big ingredient that hasn't changed-MY JOB! I went looking through my blogs to see just what I was writing two years ago. Although I was very preoccupied with my Phillies in the playoffs and the World Series, I was very seriously thinking about changing my job. Well-I finally reached the breaking point and just interviewed for a similar position-same company, same department, same type of job, but different type of work. I won't get into it, but I will say that my political views make it increasingly difficult for me to do my current work-I just don't believe in it anymore, and when I find myself in a meeting defending something I don't agree with, it's well past time to go.
So-I am jumping off a cliff in a way-it's a little scary because I am not going TO something, I am getting AWAY from something, and although it is really my only choice right now and I think it is the right one, I have to admit to more than a little trepidation. The work I will be doing looks pretty boring from where I sit, although to be fair there are different aspects and specialities to it, and I really have no business making judgements at this point. It does involve a lot of financial ratios and numbers I've never found interesting, but at least I can believe in the mission, for now anyway. Who knows what my next move will be? I am the queen of reinvention after all, but unless someone wants to give me a bunch of money to take pictures, I have to make a living, and this is the corner I painted myself into.
After I attended the 8/28 rally I got this brilliant idea that I was going to help soldiers with their finances (they are a target for scammers and some of them are so young!). There is actually a company that works for the Defense Dept traveling around doing seminars at different bases (sounds like me, doesn't it? get up on stage and talk, sit down one-on-one and help people) BUT it requires one be a Certified Financial Advisor, which in turn requires passing a test AND 1000 hours of experience in the field. Well shit-do the math-1000 hours? I think that may have to wait til I can retire! Still a great idea, just not the time for it yet.
So that is what is happening with me lately. I have to tell you that the interview with the two women who run the area I'd be working in went swimmingly. Neither one of them knew me very well, and they seemed impressed with what they found out. It's rare for someone to say they want to stay on the road, but I know that being in the office all the time would kill me-I need to be out on the road working in the field with the bankers; it's what I do best, and what I like the most about the job.
There are things about my job I will miss-especially teaching; I'm going to Chicago at the end of the month to teach and I am really looking forward to it, although truth be told, I don't really believe in what I'm teaching anymore. Instead of teaching, I'll be going back to schools-what a change! I will no longer be a technical expert with 10 years of experience under my belt, but a technical newbie who has a lot to learn. But if you know anything about me you know that this is far from a problem-in fact I embrace the change and challenge.
So in the spirit of looking back two years, I leave you with one of my favorite blogs ever, written in October 2008.
Thanks for persevering though this tome; I haven't written anything this long in many months. And thanks my friends, for being here for me.
Signs you are a grownup
This blog has been rattling around in my head for a while now and it needs writing, so I'm going to attempt it. Before I go any further, however, I think a disclaimer is in order.
I understand that many people find that becoming parents allows/requires them to grow up and let someone else be their top priority (other than a spouse which is a whole different thing.) I have no children and have never experienced this phenomenon, so please bear with me. Oh-and as always, feel free to call me on any and all content of this blog. Just be nice while you're doing it LOL
1) The world does not revolve around you.
This is one of those about which parents may have a jump on me, but it is crucial to growing up. Not only does this include the ability to put other people's needs before your own, but also understanding that not everything that happens in your world is about you. People may be pissed off or upset and just taking it out on you-relax and laugh them off. If you really have done something to piss them off, you'll probably find out sooner or later.
2) Your parents are people too.
Insight on this does not necessarily come with parenthood, although you'd think it would. However, I know some parents who still don't get it.
The people who birthed and raised you are just as flawed as all the schmos out on the street, and the hero worship of childhood has to be replaced by embarassment, then skepticism that they made it this far through life, and then finally some understanding and recognition that they are somewhere in between. Of course some parents are abusive and that's another paragraph.
For those of us lucky enough to have wonderful but flawed people as parents who only wanted the best for us, this realization is crucial to having an adult relationship with them and letting the perceived slights and other bullshit fall away. Everyone makes mistakes, and if you know in your heart that your parents loved you and did the best they could, it's time to let that baggage go (believe me, I do know otherwise very bright and accomplished adults who haven't figured this out yet-WTF?)
On the other hand, if you were abused by your parents, my heart goes out to you. However, if you can't move on from that abuse and be in control of your own destiny, then you are carrying baggage around that is weighing you down. Let it go...
2)Accepting that not everyone will like you.
All of us will come up against people that just don't like us, for one reason or another. Sometimes this is caused by an actual word or deed on our part for which there can't (or won't) be amends made, or is the result of jealousy or some percieved slight. However, this is usually just about a conflict of personalities and cannot be helped. Grown-ups understand this and don't dwell on it-after all, don't we all have those people that just rub us the wrong way? How presumptuous to think that we don't elicit the very same reaction in someone else.
The time that this really can rear an ugly head is when one of your friends has a friend that you just don't like and who just doesn't like you. This can make for some interesting interactions, to say the least, and can be uncomfortable for the mutual friend. I had this experience in high school; one of my good friends had a friend from her neighborhood that I never liked. Her personality and attitude annoyed me, and even though she might have snubbed me at some point (I really don't remember), it was the way she treated our mutual friend that really got under my skin. Now I'm no saint and I know I had days when I wasn't the greatest friend, but this person consistently took advantage of my friend and treated her like shit. Needless to say, we avoided each other like the plague. I really don't know what she thought of me or if she knew I was on to her, and still could care less. What a using bitch!
The funny thing is that the same type of thing seems to be occuring here on Myspace. Some of the friends of one of my friends don't seem to like me very much and I really don't know why. Believe me, I'm not losing any sleep over it, but it would be nice to know. I don't think I ever did anything to deserve their disdain, but oh well-whatever. I'm a big girl and it doesn't impact me one way or the other; it's just another opportunity to observe people's interesting behavior and shake my head.
3)Understanding your romantic patterns
This is something that people who always seem to make the wrong choices need to acknowledge and understand, and actually is applicable to friendships too. If you seem to have a pattern of attracting or being attracted to losers, it's time to reevaluate your own motives and thinking-many times we are our own worst enemies.
4) Acknowledging your own flaws and easing up on yourself
No one is or will ever be perfect, and the less time we spend agonizing over our faults the better. Of course making the same mistakes over and over requires a good hard look at why, and all of us can and should always attempt to improve ourselves, but there's a good chance that we'll all go to the grave with some faults and blots on our record-we're only human!
5) Comfort in your own skin
Under this category I include-not worrying so much about what other people think, striking out on your own road and not trying to follow the crowd, AND maybe the most important, not trying to make yourself into someone's perfect match/dream man or woman.
This last one affects us all at one time or another-we find someone we think we love and try to make ourselves into the person we think they want. This is a recipe for disaster from the first moment-we will never be anyone else but ourselves, and the quicker we understand that the happier we will be. One can only pretend for so long, and what a rude awakening when the truth comes out! Grown-ups are comfortable in their own skins, and when they display that confidence and pursue the things that fulfill them, they will find happiness and hopefully, love.
6) Finally, understanding that life is a journey and along that path we will learn much about ourselves and the world.
That said, there are many things we will never know, understand, or experience, and when we acknowledge this fact, we may breathe a big sigh of relief. There are only so many days in one's life, and choices must be made. Realizing the fact that the more we grow and experience, the more we realize we don't (and may never) know is quite a revelation.
So-I think I'm done. I know this is too long, and if you made it all the way through I thank you and ask-
Do you agree? and What can you add?
Thanks again!
Avatars-a little nostalgic for simpler days May 10
A new camera picture blog is coming soon, but this isn't about pictures-well actually maybe it is.
For some reason, maybe seeing Toy with a shoe today, I'm a bit nostalgic for the time back in the day when I could express my moods here with just a click-
Nowadays it's much more complicated-I may not be able to say what I feel in a status message, so I may not express myself. Even though I sorely miss the ability to change my avatar, I have not and will not change it until I feel better about the future of our country. I hope to have renewed optimism after the November elections, but right now I need to stay focused and keep reminding myself and all my friends just how high the stakes are-don't ever forget!
I leave you with the avatar I used exclusively for 2008 presidential election-related anger
like a phoenix, we will rise from the ashes.
Thanks for reading.
For some reason, maybe seeing Toy with a shoe today, I'm a bit nostalgic for the time back in the day when I could express my moods here with just a click-
Nowadays it's much more complicated-I may not be able to say what I feel in a status message, so I may not express myself. Even though I sorely miss the ability to change my avatar, I have not and will not change it until I feel better about the future of our country. I hope to have renewed optimism after the November elections, but right now I need to stay focused and keep reminding myself and all my friends just how high the stakes are-don't ever forget!
I leave you with the avatar I used exclusively for 2008 presidential election-related anger
like a phoenix, we will rise from the ashes.
Thanks for reading.
Alice in Wonderland all grown up March 10
Remember Alice in Wonderland? Well this is a story about a grown-up Alice-the wonderland she discovered, the people she met there, and the people who didn't want to know about her life there.
Alice was all grown up, with a job, a house, a husband, and many of the good things in life. One day she discovered a wonderland of sorts; not the kind of wonderland that blocked out or superseded the normal, everyday, outside world, but a place that she felt free to express herself and meet many interesting people.
Alice's wonderland wasn't difficult to get to, although it did require stepping through an open door, and then turning the key in another door. Alice knew about these doors long before she stepped through them, but she never thought wonderland had anything to offer her, so she stayed away, living her life outside. Eventually she walked through the open door and discovered a wealth of knowledge and information right at her fingertips! This part of wonderland held her attention, and along with outside world, was enough for a long time.
One day she decided to pass through the locked door and see what the fuss was all about. Many people had passed through their own doors over the years, some anonymously, motivated by a myriad of reasons. All the different people coming through their doors with all their intentions, and from all their directions, made this part of wonderland a little confusing for Alice. But she watched and listened to many people, trying to understand what made them tick. Some of them did not attract her, but many offered enlightenment and entertainment, and she enjoyed interacting with them.
The secret behind the locked door was Alice's own self expression, and she took full advantage of her new found voice. At last a place for her thoughts, both mundane and profound, to find wings and fly into the world. She also used the secret world to bring unpleasant secrets out of the corners of her mind. Sweeping those secrets out from under the bed liberated Alice, and after a time she realized that they haunted her no more. What a relief! Alice found a new voice, and a new eye, hiding behind the secrets and the walls she had erected over the years to protect herself. She realized how many distractions she deliberately threw in her own path to prevent her from thinking about those secrets, and eventually those distractions became unnecessary, to her great delight.
Alice spread her wings in the secret world, and became a new person in the outside world as well; a better version of herself, if you will. The secret world allowed her to understand her life in the outside world so much better, and this affected her deeply.
Alice had friends in the outside world of course, and these people knew her for a very long time, long before there was a secret world. She wanted to share her new-found sense of herself and her new voice and eye with her friends, especially Mary and Carol.
Although Alice was eager to share with her friends, for various reasons it was not to be.
The first friend, Mary, knew about the open door and occasionally came through it, and listened to Alice when she talked about her new voice and eye, but never wanted to come through the door and see for herself. This made Alice sad, but she knew that Mary did not feel comfortable behind the doors and accepted the fact that Mary would always be there for her in the outside world.
The behavior of Alice's second friend, Carol, frustrated and puzzled Alice all the time. Carol was very comfortable behind the open door, in fact Carol was an expert there. She knew all the ins and outs of that world, and moved freely around all its rooms and castles, interacting also in the shadowy place between its worlds. The thing that most puzzled Alice was this-even though Carol knew of Alice's new voice and eye, she was very resistant to Alice's place in the secret world, and refused to acknowledge Alice's newfound expressions there. Many times Alice found herself listening to Carol express herself in the real world without getting a word in edgewise. You see, although Alice could chatter about the surface of her life as much as anyone, her deepest thoughts and images did not come out so easily. In fact, somehow Alice felt so much more comfortable expressing these thoughts inside her wonderland, and even though she gladly held the door open for her friend to walk through, Carol would not follow; or if she did, she kept her travels a secret for some reason unknown to Alice.
At first Alice tried to understand why her friend would not want to come through the door, especially since Carol openly lamented the fact that Alice had so many thoughts and images she expressed only behind the door. Was Carol jealous of the fact that other people saw Alice's words and visions? Did she want exclusive rights to them-to hoard all for herself? That didn't make any sense at all to Alice; why would Carol be so selfish? Maybe Carol liked to think of Alice a certain way, and wasn't quite comfortable with the new Alice?
Although Carol's attitude and behavior puzzled and disappointed Alice, she didn't let it stop her from creating behind the door, and in the outside world as well. But what, if anything, to do about Carol?
A little story about Alice and wonderland. And as a friend of mine used to say, "I don't write fiction".
Alice was all grown up, with a job, a house, a husband, and many of the good things in life. One day she discovered a wonderland of sorts; not the kind of wonderland that blocked out or superseded the normal, everyday, outside world, but a place that she felt free to express herself and meet many interesting people.
Alice's wonderland wasn't difficult to get to, although it did require stepping through an open door, and then turning the key in another door. Alice knew about these doors long before she stepped through them, but she never thought wonderland had anything to offer her, so she stayed away, living her life outside. Eventually she walked through the open door and discovered a wealth of knowledge and information right at her fingertips! This part of wonderland held her attention, and along with outside world, was enough for a long time.
One day she decided to pass through the locked door and see what the fuss was all about. Many people had passed through their own doors over the years, some anonymously, motivated by a myriad of reasons. All the different people coming through their doors with all their intentions, and from all their directions, made this part of wonderland a little confusing for Alice. But she watched and listened to many people, trying to understand what made them tick. Some of them did not attract her, but many offered enlightenment and entertainment, and she enjoyed interacting with them.
The secret behind the locked door was Alice's own self expression, and she took full advantage of her new found voice. At last a place for her thoughts, both mundane and profound, to find wings and fly into the world. She also used the secret world to bring unpleasant secrets out of the corners of her mind. Sweeping those secrets out from under the bed liberated Alice, and after a time she realized that they haunted her no more. What a relief! Alice found a new voice, and a new eye, hiding behind the secrets and the walls she had erected over the years to protect herself. She realized how many distractions she deliberately threw in her own path to prevent her from thinking about those secrets, and eventually those distractions became unnecessary, to her great delight.
Alice spread her wings in the secret world, and became a new person in the outside world as well; a better version of herself, if you will. The secret world allowed her to understand her life in the outside world so much better, and this affected her deeply.
Alice had friends in the outside world of course, and these people knew her for a very long time, long before there was a secret world. She wanted to share her new-found sense of herself and her new voice and eye with her friends, especially Mary and Carol.
Although Alice was eager to share with her friends, for various reasons it was not to be.
The first friend, Mary, knew about the open door and occasionally came through it, and listened to Alice when she talked about her new voice and eye, but never wanted to come through the door and see for herself. This made Alice sad, but she knew that Mary did not feel comfortable behind the doors and accepted the fact that Mary would always be there for her in the outside world.
The behavior of Alice's second friend, Carol, frustrated and puzzled Alice all the time. Carol was very comfortable behind the open door, in fact Carol was an expert there. She knew all the ins and outs of that world, and moved freely around all its rooms and castles, interacting also in the shadowy place between its worlds. The thing that most puzzled Alice was this-even though Carol knew of Alice's new voice and eye, she was very resistant to Alice's place in the secret world, and refused to acknowledge Alice's newfound expressions there. Many times Alice found herself listening to Carol express herself in the real world without getting a word in edgewise. You see, although Alice could chatter about the surface of her life as much as anyone, her deepest thoughts and images did not come out so easily. In fact, somehow Alice felt so much more comfortable expressing these thoughts inside her wonderland, and even though she gladly held the door open for her friend to walk through, Carol would not follow; or if she did, she kept her travels a secret for some reason unknown to Alice.
At first Alice tried to understand why her friend would not want to come through the door, especially since Carol openly lamented the fact that Alice had so many thoughts and images she expressed only behind the door. Was Carol jealous of the fact that other people saw Alice's words and visions? Did she want exclusive rights to them-to hoard all for herself? That didn't make any sense at all to Alice; why would Carol be so selfish? Maybe Carol liked to think of Alice a certain way, and wasn't quite comfortable with the new Alice?
Although Carol's attitude and behavior puzzled and disappointed Alice, she didn't let it stop her from creating behind the door, and in the outside world as well. But what, if anything, to do about Carol?
A little story about Alice and wonderland. And as a friend of mine used to say, "I don't write fiction".
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Why I need not sell myself to the highest bidder summer 09
The Phillies finally won their tenth in a row in the 13th inning, so it's time to sit down and pound this out-I have some splainin to do.
Many of you probably know that I feel trapped in my current job; I don't believe in the work I do and the political climate we live in now has made that even more palpable. For background please read this blog from April.
For some reason (maybe the new moon and the lunar eclipse tomorrow) everything came to a head today when I realized that-well never mind it doesn't really matter. When I walked out of work at damn near 6:30 I was crying tears of frustration and rage. Enough!
But if you read the blog you know I am stuck-especially now that the economy is in the shitter. I have dreams of reinventing myself again but that part of my mid-life crisis will just have to go to the back burner for now. (Maybe another tattoo would help ease the transition LOL)
I was fuming the entire ride home; even my Phillies could not cheer me up, but I did feel a little better stepping out of the car onto the "boat".
This is the street tonight-the high tide of the new moon
So after a bit of imbibbing and discussion with Mark, I had an epiphany! I don't have to sell this old carcass after all! Whoo hoo what a relief-I have an out that I didn't even see through my rage and tears!
The best way to explain it is that I work with a group of people doing one type of work with a group of customers/clients. I like the clients, my colleagues (except when they are showing their blue state colors) and the traveling the job entails; the problem is the work.
Ok, so even though the alternative is not my dream job and will probably bore me after a couple years, it is viable and will allow me to be on the road working for the same company and with the same clients, but doing different work with a different set of colleagues.
The new work will be much more compatible with my maturing political beliefs, and the mission is much more palatable, at least for a while.
I will still need to find something else to do eventually, but making this move will give me a bit more time and allow me some breathing room. Since most of my ten years of experience is with the old work, I will have to start at the bottom on the other side and probably attend classes instead of teaching them, but you know that is ok too. And they won't be able to pay me any less, so it's all good.
I am so relieved that I figured out a way to avoid becoming a cog in the new political order-I can't say any more than that but...
I do want to run my idea by a former colleague of mine; an old-school guy who is now retired but has always been a cheerleader. He helped me when I applied for that job last year, and he always has good ideas and insight into me and my predicaments. I think he will also understand my growing dissatisfaction with the political elements-he sends me conservative political humor all the time!
So there you have it-I will not have to sell my body (** on my up-coming birthday) to pay the bills.
Now of course this is not a done deal, but it is eminently reasonable and I hope doable; it is not pie in the sky. I still need to figure out wht it is I'm supposed to be doing, but this way I can pay the bills and not go stark raving mad.
Thanks for reading and commenting as always-I really appreciate your point of view.
Many of you probably know that I feel trapped in my current job; I don't believe in the work I do and the political climate we live in now has made that even more palpable. For background please read this blog from April.
For some reason (maybe the new moon and the lunar eclipse tomorrow) everything came to a head today when I realized that-well never mind it doesn't really matter. When I walked out of work at damn near 6:30 I was crying tears of frustration and rage. Enough!
But if you read the blog you know I am stuck-especially now that the economy is in the shitter. I have dreams of reinventing myself again but that part of my mid-life crisis will just have to go to the back burner for now. (Maybe another tattoo would help ease the transition LOL)
I was fuming the entire ride home; even my Phillies could not cheer me up, but I did feel a little better stepping out of the car onto the "boat".
This is the street tonight-the high tide of the new moon
So after a bit of imbibbing and discussion with Mark, I had an epiphany! I don't have to sell this old carcass after all! Whoo hoo what a relief-I have an out that I didn't even see through my rage and tears!
The best way to explain it is that I work with a group of people doing one type of work with a group of customers/clients. I like the clients, my colleagues (except when they are showing their blue state colors) and the traveling the job entails; the problem is the work.
Ok, so even though the alternative is not my dream job and will probably bore me after a couple years, it is viable and will allow me to be on the road working for the same company and with the same clients, but doing different work with a different set of colleagues.
The new work will be much more compatible with my maturing political beliefs, and the mission is much more palatable, at least for a while.
I will still need to find something else to do eventually, but making this move will give me a bit more time and allow me some breathing room. Since most of my ten years of experience is with the old work, I will have to start at the bottom on the other side and probably attend classes instead of teaching them, but you know that is ok too. And they won't be able to pay me any less, so it's all good.
I am so relieved that I figured out a way to avoid becoming a cog in the new political order-I can't say any more than that but...
I do want to run my idea by a former colleague of mine; an old-school guy who is now retired but has always been a cheerleader. He helped me when I applied for that job last year, and he always has good ideas and insight into me and my predicaments. I think he will also understand my growing dissatisfaction with the political elements-he sends me conservative political humor all the time!
So there you have it-I will not have to sell my body (** on my up-coming birthday) to pay the bills.
Now of course this is not a done deal, but it is eminently reasonable and I hope doable; it is not pie in the sky. I still need to figure out wht it is I'm supposed to be doing, but this way I can pay the bills and not go stark raving mad.
Thanks for reading and commenting as always-I really appreciate your point of view.
Summertime photoblog summer 09
July 2010-I love it! I am finally entering this blog in a Summertime A*N*D contest (category 1)! A year later, but who's counting? I could add more pictures; if you have been around you known I've come a long way with my pictures in a year (thanks JG ) but I think I'll leave it exactly as is.
I will pimp my photography website though, http://www.elizabethseyes.com/f987117282 is the page showing all the galleries-check it out for more shots, old and new (and lots more central europe here). Thanks and make sure you read all the blogs in the contest-link below.
Originally posted on July 9, 2009 but I'm jonesing for summer about now. How bout you?
A quick note-not all of the pictures are labeled, but they are all mine, except of course for the ones in which I appear. Enjoy-and please check out the A*N*D page and contest blog.
) but I think I'll leave it exactly as is.I will pimp my photography website though, http://www.elizabethseyes.com/f987117282 is the page showing all the galleries-check it out for more shots, old and new (and lots more central europe here). Thanks and make sure you read all the blogs in the contest-link below.
Originally posted on July 9, 2009 but I'm jonesing for summer about now. How bout you?
A quick note-not all of the pictures are labeled, but they are all mine, except of course for the ones in which I appear. Enjoy-and please check out the A*N*D page and contest blog.
Summertime means vacation to to many people; when I was a kid my parents packed us up in the station wagon (remember those?) and took us all over the country. But these days vacation can be any time of year, especially since we moved down the shore in 1991-we live where many folks vacation LOL!
But when I think of summertime vacations I think of my parents of course; my dad especially cause he is no longer on this earth.
Thanks Dad!
From a trip we took to Bermuda together back in the early 90's-it was kind of a fluke but looking back I'm SO glad we did it
Of course the big summer activity with Dad-THE PHILLIES!! You may remember those intentional double headers they used to play-one game after the other for one ticket. Well bless his heart, my dad could squeeze the life out of a nickel-we saw every double header growing up, from Connie Mack Stadium in North Philly to Vets Stadium in South Philly.
A shot of the two of us at Vet Stadium circa 1992?
So this is a big reason why the Phillies are an enormous part of my summer nowadays. I am a lifelong fan in one of the toughest baseball cities in the country, and I can boo with the best of them. Although I don't throw anything on the field
Win or lose I am a fan, but last year was a dream come true
I only wish that Dad could have seen it.
Of course the best team in baseball in the best baseball city has the best mascot in all of sports-the Philly Phanatic!
No proper segue to this next set of pix, but here they are anyway-summertime is the time for convertibles! I'm severely addicted to the feel of the pedals under my feet, the sky above me, and the wind in my hair.
My first car-camping on Cape Hatteras
Mark in his wife's car LOL
One of the reasons I stay at my job-the jet
And a little flashback to the old days
So where do I take my car in the summertime? Well of course you know I spend much of my summers on the road driving all over Pennsylvania through some of the most beautiful scenery
but one favorite summertime spot is Chincoteague, Virginia
for the pony swim, penning, and auction
But the greatest adventure of my life happened in the summertime; the summer of 1997, to be exact. Someday I'll write about the experience, but right now I'll just tell you that during the last summer of my college experience (over my 37th birthday), I decided to quit my job and travel to Prague, Czech Republic, to study at the University of Economics. Of course the whole thing was meticulously planned and executed; I think Mark was a bit nonplussed but since the bills were paid and everything taken care of, what could he say?
I spent 5 weeks studying in Prague
The spa town Karlovy Vary, one of several side trips
After my time in Prague, I took off on a road trip.
Four days in Budapest
The last shot of the trip.....
But there's no place like home-down the shore.
Come home with me
Come home with me
to that time of year when the windows are open
and the cats are in them
the flounder are biting
and the crabs are shedding their shells
Fried soft shells-only in the summer
The parade of boats we see from the back porch. Some ugly, some yar...
and the sunset that is beautiful any time of year
And last but not least. I leave you at one of my favorite places in my favorite city-Rittenhouse Square.
Thanks for your attention. I hope you enjoyed my summertime memories.
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