Alice in Wonderland all grown up March 10

Remember Alice in Wonderland? Well this is a story about a grown-up Alice-the wonderland she discovered, the people she met there, and the people who didn't want to know about her life there.

Alice was all grown up, with a job, a house, a husband, and many of the good things in life. One day she discovered a wonderland of sorts; not the kind of wonderland that blocked out or superseded the normal, everyday, outside world, but a place that she felt free to express herself and meet many interesting people.

Alice's wonderland wasn't difficult to get to, although it did require stepping through an open door, and then turning the key in another door. Alice knew about these doors long before she stepped through them, but she never thought wonderland had anything to offer her, so she stayed away, living her life outside. Eventually she walked through the open door and discovered a wealth of knowledge and information right at her fingertips! This part of wonderland held her attention, and along with outside world, was enough for a long time.

One day she decided to pass through the locked door and see what the fuss was all about. Many people had passed through their own doors over the years, some anonymously, motivated by a myriad of reasons. All the different people coming through their doors with all their intentions, and from all their directions, made this part of wonderland a little confusing for Alice. But she watched and listened to many people, trying to understand what made them tick. Some of them did not attract her, but many offered enlightenment and entertainment, and she enjoyed interacting with them.

The secret behind the locked door was Alice's own self expression, and she took full advantage of her new found voice. At last a place for her thoughts, both mundane and profound, to find wings and fly into the world. She also used the secret world to bring unpleasant secrets out of the corners of her mind. Sweeping those secrets out from under the bed liberated Alice, and after a time she realized that they haunted her no more. What a relief! Alice found a new voice, and a new eye, hiding behind the secrets and the walls she had erected over the years to protect herself. She realized how many distractions she deliberately threw in her own path to prevent her from thinking about those secrets, and eventually those distractions became unnecessary, to her great delight.

Alice spread her wings in the secret world, and became a new person in the outside world as well; a better version of herself, if you will. The secret world allowed her to understand her life in the outside world so much better, and this affected her deeply.

Alice had friends in the outside world of course, and these people knew her for a very long time, long before there was a secret world. She wanted to share her new-found sense of herself and her new voice and eye with her friends, especially Mary and Carol.

Although Alice was eager to share with her friends, for various reasons it was not to be.

The first friend, Mary, knew about the open door and occasionally came through it, and listened to Alice when she talked about her new voice and eye, but never wanted to come through the door and see for herself. This made Alice sad, but she knew that Mary did not feel comfortable behind the doors and accepted the fact that Mary would always be there for her in the outside world.

The behavior of Alice's second friend, Carol, frustrated and puzzled Alice all the time. Carol was very comfortable behind the open door, in fact Carol was an expert there. She knew all the ins and outs of that world, and moved freely around all its rooms and castles, interacting also in the shadowy place between its worlds. The thing that most puzzled Alice was this-even though Carol knew of Alice's new voice and eye, she was very resistant to Alice's place in the secret world, and refused to acknowledge Alice's newfound expressions there. Many times Alice found herself listening to Carol express herself in the real world without getting a word in edgewise. You see, although Alice could chatter about the surface of her life as much as anyone, her deepest thoughts and images did not come out so easily. In fact, somehow Alice felt so much more comfortable expressing these thoughts inside her wonderland, and even though she gladly held the door open for her friend to walk through, Carol would not follow; or if she did, she kept her travels a secret for some reason unknown to Alice.

At first Alice tried to understand why her friend would not want to come through the door, especially since Carol openly lamented the fact that Alice had so many thoughts and images she expressed only behind the door. Was Carol jealous of the fact that other people saw Alice's words and visions? Did she want exclusive rights to them-to hoard all for herself? That didn't make any sense at all to Alice; why would Carol be so selfish? Maybe Carol liked to think of Alice a certain way, and wasn't quite comfortable with the new Alice?

Although Carol's attitude and behavior puzzled and disappointed Alice, she didn't let it stop her from creating behind the door, and in the outside world as well. But what, if anything, to do about Carol?

A little story about Alice and wonderland. And as a friend of mine used to say, "I don't write fiction".