Why I need not sell myself to the highest bidder summer 09

The Phillies finally won their tenth in a row in the 13th inning, so it's time to sit down and pound this out-I have some splainin to do.

Many of you probably know that I feel trapped in my current job; I don't believe in the work I do and the political climate we live in now has made that even more palpable. For background please read this blog from April.

For some reason (maybe the new moon and the lunar eclipse tomorrow) everything came to a head today when I realized that-well never mind it doesn't really matter. When I walked out of work at damn near 6:30 I was crying tears of frustration and rage. Enough!

But if you read the blog you know I am stuck-especially now that the economy is in the shitter. I have dreams of reinventing myself again but that part of my mid-life crisis will just have to go to the back burner for now. (Maybe another tattoo would help ease the transition LOL)

I was fuming the entire ride home; even my Phillies could not cheer me up, but I did feel a little better stepping out of the car onto the "boat".

This is the street tonight-the high tide of the new moon




So after a bit of imbibbing and discussion with Mark, I had an epiphany! I don't have to sell this old carcass after all! Whoo hoo what a relief-I have an out that I didn't even see through my rage and tears!

The best way to explain it is that I work with a group of people doing one type of work with a group of customers/clients. I like the clients, my colleagues (except when they are showing their blue state colors) and the traveling the job entails; the problem is the work.

Ok, so even though the alternative is not my dream job and will probably bore me after a couple years, it is viable and will allow me to be on the road working for the same company and with the same clients, but doing different work with a different set of colleagues.

The new work will be much more compatible with my maturing political beliefs, and the mission is much more palatable, at least for a while.

I will still need to find something else to do eventually, but making this move will give me a bit more time and allow me some breathing room. Since most of my ten years of experience is with the old work, I will have to start at the bottom on the other side and probably attend classes instead of teaching them, but you know that is ok too. And they won't be able to pay me any less, so it's all good.

I am so relieved that I figured out a way to avoid becoming a cog in the new political order-I can't say any more than that but...

I do want to run my idea by a former colleague of mine; an old-school guy who is now retired but has always been a cheerleader. He helped me when I applied for that job last year, and he always has good ideas and insight into me and my predicaments. I think he will also understand my growing dissatisfaction with the political elements-he sends me conservative political humor all the time!

So there you have it-I will not have to sell my body (** on my up-coming birthday) to pay the bills.

Now of course this is not a done deal, but it is eminently reasonable and I hope doable; it is not pie in the sky. I still need to figure out wht it is I'm supposed to be doing, but this way I can pay the bills and not go stark raving mad.

Thanks for reading and commenting as always-I really appreciate your point of view.