But seriously, the new glasses got me thinking about the past two years; how much has happened, and how much hasn't. I have changed so much-I've become much better at the pictures (practice will do that), much more militant in my political views, and much more aware of the world beyond my little sphere.
That said, there is one big ingredient that hasn't changed-MY JOB! I went looking through my blogs to see just what I was writing two years ago. Although I was very preoccupied with my Phillies in the playoffs and the World Series, I was very seriously thinking about changing my job. Well-I finally reached the breaking point and just interviewed for a similar position-same company, same department, same type of job, but different type of work. I won't get into it, but I will say that my political views make it increasingly difficult for me to do my current work-I just don't believe in it anymore, and when I find myself in a meeting defending something I don't agree with, it's well past time to go.
So-I am jumping off a cliff in a way-it's a little scary because I am not going TO something, I am getting AWAY from something, and although it is really my only choice right now and I think it is the right one, I have to admit to more than a little trepidation. The work I will be doing looks pretty boring from where I sit, although to be fair there are different aspects and specialities to it, and I really have no business making judgements at this point. It does involve a lot of financial ratios and numbers I've never found interesting, but at least I can believe in the mission, for now anyway. Who knows what my next move will be? I am the queen of reinvention after all, but unless someone wants to give me a bunch of money to take pictures, I have to make a living, and this is the corner I painted myself into.
After I attended the 8/28 rally I got this brilliant idea that I was going to help soldiers with their finances (they are a target for scammers and some of them are so young!). There is actually a company that works for the Defense Dept traveling around doing seminars at different bases (sounds like me, doesn't it? get up on stage and talk, sit down one-on-one and help people) BUT it requires one be a Certified Financial Advisor, which in turn requires passing a test AND 1000 hours of experience in the field. Well shit-do the math-1000 hours? I think that may have to wait til I can retire! Still a great idea, just not the time for it yet.
So that is what is happening with me lately. I have to tell you that the interview with the two women who run the area I'd be working in went swimmingly. Neither one of them knew me very well, and they seemed impressed with what they found out. It's rare for someone to say they want to stay on the road, but I know that being in the office all the time would kill me-I need to be out on the road working in the field with the bankers; it's what I do best, and what I like the most about the job.
There are things about my job I will miss-especially teaching; I'm going to Chicago at the end of the month to teach and I am really looking forward to it, although truth be told, I don't really believe in what I'm teaching anymore. Instead of teaching, I'll be going back to schools-what a change! I will no longer be a technical expert with 10 years of experience under my belt, but a technical newbie who has a lot to learn. But if you know anything about me you know that this is far from a problem-in fact I embrace the change and challenge.
So in the spirit of looking back two years, I leave you with one of my favorite blogs ever, written in October 2008.
Thanks for persevering though this tome; I haven't written anything this long in many months. And thanks my friends, for being here for me.
Signs you are a grownup
This blog has been rattling around in my head for a while now and it needs writing, so I'm going to attempt it. Before I go any further, however, I think a disclaimer is in order.
I understand that many people find that becoming parents allows/requires them to grow up and let someone else be their top priority (other than a spouse which is a whole different thing.) I have no children and have never experienced this phenomenon, so please bear with me. Oh-and as always, feel free to call me on any and all content of this blog. Just be nice while you're doing it LOL
1) The world does not revolve around you.
This is one of those about which parents may have a jump on me, but it is crucial to growing up. Not only does this include the ability to put other people's needs before your own, but also understanding that not everything that happens in your world is about you. People may be pissed off or upset and just taking it out on you-relax and laugh them off. If you really have done something to piss them off, you'll probably find out sooner or later.
2) Your parents are people too.
Insight on this does not necessarily come with parenthood, although you'd think it would. However, I know some parents who still don't get it.
The people who birthed and raised you are just as flawed as all the schmos out on the street, and the hero worship of childhood has to be replaced by embarassment, then skepticism that they made it this far through life, and then finally some understanding and recognition that they are somewhere in between. Of course some parents are abusive and that's another paragraph.
For those of us lucky enough to have wonderful but flawed people as parents who only wanted the best for us, this realization is crucial to having an adult relationship with them and letting the perceived slights and other bullshit fall away. Everyone makes mistakes, and if you know in your heart that your parents loved you and did the best they could, it's time to let that baggage go (believe me, I do know otherwise very bright and accomplished adults who haven't figured this out yet-WTF?)
On the other hand, if you were abused by your parents, my heart goes out to you. However, if you can't move on from that abuse and be in control of your own destiny, then you are carrying baggage around that is weighing you down. Let it go...
2)Accepting that not everyone will like you.
All of us will come up against people that just don't like us, for one reason or another. Sometimes this is caused by an actual word or deed on our part for which there can't (or won't) be amends made, or is the result of jealousy or some percieved slight. However, this is usually just about a conflict of personalities and cannot be helped. Grown-ups understand this and don't dwell on it-after all, don't we all have those people that just rub us the wrong way? How presumptuous to think that we don't elicit the very same reaction in someone else.
The time that this really can rear an ugly head is when one of your friends has a friend that you just don't like and who just doesn't like you. This can make for some interesting interactions, to say the least, and can be uncomfortable for the mutual friend. I had this experience in high school; one of my good friends had a friend from her neighborhood that I never liked. Her personality and attitude annoyed me, and even though she might have snubbed me at some point (I really don't remember), it was the way she treated our mutual friend that really got under my skin. Now I'm no saint and I know I had days when I wasn't the greatest friend, but this person consistently took advantage of my friend and treated her like shit. Needless to say, we avoided each other like the plague. I really don't know what she thought of me or if she knew I was on to her, and still could care less. What a using bitch!
The funny thing is that the same type of thing seems to be occuring here on Myspace. Some of the friends of one of my friends don't seem to like me very much and I really don't know why. Believe me, I'm not losing any sleep over it, but it would be nice to know. I don't think I ever did anything to deserve their disdain, but oh well-whatever. I'm a big girl and it doesn't impact me one way or the other; it's just another opportunity to observe people's interesting behavior and shake my head.
3)Understanding your romantic patterns
This is something that people who always seem to make the wrong choices need to acknowledge and understand, and actually is applicable to friendships too. If you seem to have a pattern of attracting or being attracted to losers, it's time to reevaluate your own motives and thinking-many times we are our own worst enemies.
4) Acknowledging your own flaws and easing up on yourself
No one is or will ever be perfect, and the less time we spend agonizing over our faults the better. Of course making the same mistakes over and over requires a good hard look at why, and all of us can and should always attempt to improve ourselves, but there's a good chance that we'll all go to the grave with some faults and blots on our record-we're only human!
5) Comfort in your own skin
Under this category I include-not worrying so much about what other people think, striking out on your own road and not trying to follow the crowd, AND maybe the most important, not trying to make yourself into someone's perfect match/dream man or woman.
This last one affects us all at one time or another-we find someone we think we love and try to make ourselves into the person we think they want. This is a recipe for disaster from the first moment-we will never be anyone else but ourselves, and the quicker we understand that the happier we will be. One can only pretend for so long, and what a rude awakening when the truth comes out! Grown-ups are comfortable in their own skins, and when they display that confidence and pursue the things that fulfill them, they will find happiness and hopefully, love.
6) Finally, understanding that life is a journey and along that path we will learn much about ourselves and the world.
That said, there are many things we will never know, understand, or experience, and when we acknowledge this fact, we may breathe a big sigh of relief. There are only so many days in one's life, and choices must be made. Realizing the fact that the more we grow and experience, the more we realize we don't (and may never) know is quite a revelation.
So-I think I'm done. I know this is too long, and if you made it all the way through I thank you and ask-
Do you agree? and What can you add?
Thanks again!
No comments:
Post a Comment