Friends don't let friends Dec 08

This is a story about me and my friend. It could be any time or place, but let's say it's 25 years ago, when the only constant in my life was Mark. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life, and basically just allowed the winds of fate to buffett me through the days, weeks. and months. I was working as a bartender (still one of my fav jobs) at night and hanging out with a couple friends during the day. One of them was a stay at home mom with six (I think?) kids; the youngest may not have been her husband's. The other friend worked for her father in the landscaping business. but she didn't do that much.

I want to focus on the second friend for a minute. She could never go anywhere by herself , so she recruited me to accompany her on many jaunts through Philly and its suburbs. I never quite knew what she was doing-I had my ideas but never really thought about the likely fact that I served as cover for any and all kinds of nefarious goings on. Most of the time I went along for the ride, literally and figuratively, because even in my obliviousness (and believe me I was oblivious for much of those years) she made me feel better about myself. My life was a mystery to me; a puzzle I could never quite figure out, but it was amazingly organized and coherent compared to this friend's life.

Her phone calls asking (demanding!) that I accompany her on some errand or another could be annoying, but as long as I could keep an eye on her I felt like she was at least somewhat under control. I really worried when the phone calls stopped. Then I knew that she was REALLY up to no good-if she couldn't even look me in the eye, or didn't want me to see how she looked, things were bad.

From this vantage point I think I understand that she was bipolar, and self-medicated with whatever she needed to keep it together. I hope she is ok now; I haven't heard from her in a long time, and she is not on the web anywhere that I know of.

I tell this story because I have a friend who is hiding right now. Now I don't think this person is bipolar or abusing drugs, legal or illegal. This person is hooked on lust, knows its only going to be a bad trip but doesn't want to admit it, and so is hiding themselves from the truth.

Of course, as a friend there is only so much one can do; I learned this 20 years ago but somehow I'm still not finished with the lesson. Sometimes there's just no saving people from themselves; when someone closes their ears it's time to stop talking. Maybe all one can do is be there to help pick up the pieces.

I could be wrong about why this friend is hiding; maybe there's something else going on in their life and I am all wet. I really hope I am wrong...